Menopause and Sex

Written by Emily McBride (last updated October 20, 2009)

Now that kids are out of the house and you and your partner have more time alone, you should be able to enjoy sex more than ever. Unfortunately, one of the most common symptoms of menopause is the loss of sexual desire. Not only is it harder for women to get aroused, but other side effects of menopause make it more difficult to enjoy sex as well. Here are some tips to help you still have comfortable and enjoyable sex with your partner.

  • Vaginal dryness. One symptom of menopause is a dry vagina, which makes your vagina sensitive and tender. Some women also report that their vagina has atrophied (narrowed or shrunken) during menopause. These changes in the vagina can lead to painful sex. To help ease this discomfort, make sure you are relaxed. To help you relax, try taking a warm bath or having your partner give you a massage. Also, use a water-soluble lubricant like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide to help things go more smoothly.
  • Lack of sex drive. There are some homeopathic treatments and hormones that supposedly help you with your sexual desire. If you decide to try them, make sure that you have fully researched them and potential side effects first. Unfortunately, there is not a reliable way or medication right now to improve sex drive, although researchers are looking for solutions. However, you shouldn't give up! Make sure you are spending plenty of intimate and romantic time with your partner. Try something new with your sex routine to stimulate your desire. Keep trying new things—don't give up because you should eventually be able to find something that can help you. Remember that there are other ways to show affection besides intercourse (e.g. kissing, massaging, cuddling).
  • Communicate. Even if you don't feel like it, spend time with your partner to show your love and affection. Talk to them so they can understand about the changes going on within your body. Having a strong relationship will help you get through these changes.

Just because you are going through menopause does not mean that you will lose your sexual desire. Some women actually report an increase! Either way, make sure that you are spending quality time with your partner to show your love. Be patient, and keep trying, and you'll eventually figure out how to get some sexual desire back!

Author Bio

Emily McBride

A senior majoring in English and editing at BYU, Emily hopes to enter the field of professional editing upon graduation. Emily has done humanitarian work in Africa and studied in London. She enjoys blogging, foreign films, and playing the piano. ...


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